come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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