There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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