9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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