READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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