I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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