I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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