so let's talk penis.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
