girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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