mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
