the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
