sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
