once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
