There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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