my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
