My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
