I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize