Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize