Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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