Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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