So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
