So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
