they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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