so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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