I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
