stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
