are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
