Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
