I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
