You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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