Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize