dude i'm inner monologue high
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You are a booty call, not a friend.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
