I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Girls should come with a carfax report
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
