i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
