Dual....:-)
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
