we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
