Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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