Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
