Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
