I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
