boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
this is an emotional support booty call
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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