I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
