If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
