Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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