Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize