i wish peter jackson would direct porn
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
