Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
