Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
