her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
