i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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