Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sext me about skeletons
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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