i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
