shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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