Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
