That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
