Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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