I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just gift wrapped bread.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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